The Treatment Train Continues

Chemo #4. Check.  Two more to go. Silver Lining!

As you may remember, I  go chemo to in an outfit that makes me feel good, happy and confident.  I have always put forth an effort to look my best, no matter how I feel, and chemo infusions are no exception. So, the outfits that I wear to chemo are chosen with care and have special meaning to me. Here is what I wore today.

Pink and grey cotton Hermes scarf. I put together my outfit around my scarf today for three reasons:

  1. Our daughter, a/k/a Finally Five went into my scarf drawer and picked it out herself. I frequently ask Finally Five what scarf she wants me to wear. It gives her a great sense of engagement and control.  Plus, she has great taste and makes it fun!
  2. A new friend gave this scarf to me from her extensive Hermes collection (SL). How kind, generous and thoughtful, right?
  3. It’s the most comfortable scarf I own.  Shocking, I know, to think that scarves have varying levels of comfort.  Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s true!

The outfit is part of my new spring suit by Lyn Devon. (There is a jacket that goes on top.) I can’t begin to tell you how much I am loving this Loro Piana fabric. Yes, it’s Loro Piana fabric.  It is sooooooo comfortable!  I had to do some alterations on it (only because I have shrunk) and my terrific tailor went on and on about the quality of the fabric and how well it is made.  Impressive. I’ve written about Lyn here before.  She is not only extraordinarily talented, but she is the highest quality person, whom I respect immensely. I am honored to call her a friend.

I am also carrying a the India Hobo bag made by my dear friend Alexandra Knight.  Not only is it pretty, but it is super functional, easily carrying my Mac Book Air as well as the rest of my pursey things.  I am also immensely honored to know Alexandra.  She’s funny, smart, witty, generous (beyond belief!) and über talented.

So, this is how I rolled to chemo today.  Feeling well turned out, surrounded by my friends and their love.   How’s that for a SL?

Before every chemo infusion, we have a meeting with my dear Oncologist. Today, we had the “come to treatment” talk with him.  The Husband and I felt like it was time to ask about the Elephant in the room that is Radiation. Will I have it?  Will I not have it?

Way back when, what seems like eons ago. I was told, “After surgery and the aggressive chemo, you probably won’t need radiation.”  It was my plastic surgeon, however, who said, “They always tell you that you don’t need radiation until one day they tell you that you need it.”  This is why it was in the back of our minds.  And the reason for asking today.

My oncologist chuckled and said, “Yes, that is usually how it goes.”  To his credit, he never said that I probably wouldn’t need it.  Rather, he said that we would talk about it toward the end of chemo.  So, there’s a little SL here.  We are nearing the end of chemo. And it’s time to talk about it.

The Husband and I were not completely surprised.  All along, I had been Hoping for the Best & Preparing for the Worst, e.g, hoping to skip radiation, but preparing for its inevitability.

So here we are.  Adding another 6 weeks of treatment to the overall plan. F-Bomb.  I was really (REALLY!) hoping to be done…done…done after chemo.  Well, it is what it is and this is the path.

Radiation therapy — also called radiotherapy — is a highly targeted, highly effective way to destroy cancer cells in the breast that may stick around after surgery. Radiation can reduce the risk of breast cancer recurrence by about 70%.  This is the SL to which I will attach my intentions for the next phase of treatment.

It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.

– Lena Horne

Leave a comment


  1. Ms Butler says


    While reading this I was thinking, "exactly the same thing I went through", all the way to the questions you asked the Ono. Believe me it will get better. I finished my radiation on 1/11/2011 and couldn't be happier, but as for me, now I'm trying to get through the phase of "what do I do now"?. My cancer was triple neg (bc) and no further treatment available after surgery and chemo/radiation. But I'm very hopeful and like you thankful for the "SL" that it was caught fairly early. (stage 2).

    Stay strong

  2. Alexandra Gifford says

    Love that the little sailors were lovingly watching over you. Thank you for sharing the journey. LOVE.

  3. says

    What Merryl said but the completely and TOTALLY uncensored version … like in the King's
    Speech!!! You are a constant inspiration, Hollye, and I have some suggestions for ways to
    naturally assist your body to cope with the Radiation. We'll talk soon, see you Monday at
    the Coral Casino!

  4. Merryl says

    WTF!!! Bald, dealing with FBC, puke-faced and still so F-ING gorgeous, brilliant and fabulous! How do you do it, HFJ??!!

  5. diane says

    You have inspired me to dress with more fabulousness when I go for treatments….aaaah Chanel and chemo, how great is that? Also, did I tell you I picked up a new client in my nurse??? BIG SL!!! :) I've had 2 months off due to the mouth situation…a little activity in the last CT, but my Dr felt comfortable in letting me skip another round. I'm taking advantage, going to NYC next week to see friends and eating great food and enjoying my wine! It will be hard to start treatment again after feeling so normal, but this vacation from it, and feeling so strong, is a BIG SL.
    It is REALLY wonderful to see that smile…
    "Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage."
    -Anais Nin
    You are giving courage to so many, and yours shines through with every entry we all wait to read….

  6. Carolyn Anderson says

    I see my sister, Sharon, contacted you. I am so glad that you are now more than half way to homeplate. I have 8 radiation sessions left. After seeing what the chemo sessions are like I would like to say that the radiation sessions are nothing like what you are going through now. It seems that you are going through the most difficult part of treatment for the FBC and yet you are amazing!! Know that we are praying for you and holding you in our thoughts!

  7. says


    Finally Five has her mothers fashion gene!! Is it good to think "only two more" I too have to have 5 to 6 weeks of radition…that is anoter story for me as I was all set to do the brachitherapy, which necessitates the implantation of a catheter to deliver the iridium dircatly to the tumor bed whare it is lett for 30 minutes or so and then retrieved. This happens twice a day 6 to 8 hours apart.And it is only for 1 week. I was all for that!!! Then I am told by my radiaologist and the genetics counselor, that it is not advisable in my situation to do brachi if I have not tested fro BRCA 1&2. Which at that point I had not as the genetic counselor caught that omission on the day before I was to have started radiation. So back into the cat room I go to have the catheter yanked out (and this after I had just spent an hour and a half having the leads calibrated and numerous cat scans to make sure they were sited correctly) Anyways I now have to have the traditional radiology of 5 to 6 weeks to look forward too..SL in all of this whan I do feel good for the week before chemo it has given me more time to spend with my parents and siblings who are the best in the world!! So it becomes more obvious to me" man plans yet God provides" My parents are going to be 77 and 81 within the next month. How blessed am I to still have them with me. Hope this round is not as tough on you as the last 3. You are in my thoughts and prayers daily. Patti

  8. Diana Brill says

    Good morning my dear (not yet met) friend! I am so happy to see the Lena Horne quote today. I saw it when I watched the Oscars and, believe it or not, thought of you and the way you are carrying your load. I have no wisdom to impart just wanted to let to let you know I am here holding your hand on a daily basis and am so pleased for you that you are 2/3rds of the way through the chemo journey! You are loved and admired – sending you loads of our wonderful Texas sunshine today!

  9. Sharon says

    My sister directed me to your site as we are on the same time frame of the journey. We were diagnosed the same month and the treatment schedule mirrors one another.I did not have mastectomies, that is the only difference. I really appreciate how you have the ability to put into such frank terms when describing how the chemo affects you.For me it is like you are reading my own thoughts, I have someone who understands how I'm feeling and what I'm experiencing.My 4th chemo treatment is tomorrow, then it will be 2 to go.Take care and God bless you.

  10. Sara Garibotto says

    There is almost nothing more difficult than thinking you are seeing the end of the road only to realize you are seeing a corner, and that the road still stretches out before you. Hang in there! It may not feel like it today, but you will get there. Your outfit looked fab btw!