I have had the honor of earning quite a few graduation certificates in my life (because I loooooove school!). I can honestly say that the one I received yesterday means as much, if not more, than all of the others!
Yesterday was my LAST day of Radiation. My last day of daily F-bomb treatments. Whoa Nelly. I just realized that there’s a whole lot of emotion packed into that sentence. Walking out of the hospital was one of the more freeing experiences of my life. I felt an array of emotions, including sadness, anxiety, confusion and (obviously) joy. Like I said, a whole lot of emotions!
Sadness because I will miss seeing the array of people who have cared for me for such a long period of time. Anxiety for wondering whether “is it really gone”and for wondering when I will start to feel like myself again. Confusion about what “myself” now means as well as what the next chapter of my life holds. And I presume that there’s really no need to explain why I feel joy…
The Silver Lining news is that after 5+ weeks of radiation, my skin is looking good. It’s as good as I could have hoped for, actually. Though it is red, crispy and sunburned, my skin is fully intact. No blisters, holes or gaping wounds. Wahooo!
So, a little sunburn? NO problem. Piece of cake. I spent my entire youth sunburned, so I know how to handle it. Actually, better this time because I have been prescribed mediations to offset the redness, itching and peeling. I am also still dealing with this pesky lymphedema and the hot flashes. Ohhhh, the hot flashes….but I know that I’m on the yellow brick road of recovery!
The HOTY came to San Francisco to pick me up. More joy. I am now home and reunited with the HOTY and Finally Five. We are home for only about 15 minutes to unpack and repack because we are going on a family vacation.
I’m looking so forward to the down time. I can’t begin to describe how tired I am. Exhausted. Fatigue. Nothing quite seems to capture the level of drain that I now feel. I took 2, two-hour naps today and am falling asleep as I write this.
When I return from vacation, I will begin the next round of medication: Tamoxifen (I’ll write more about that when it’s time to begin).
However, in the meantime, the Silver Lining is that it’s NOW time for some recovery.
Though I’ll continue to write, please know how deeply appreciative I am of your support and for reading the Brookside Buzz.
Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.
– Groucho Marx
…or as the HOTY says, “One day at a time…”