More Cancer Side Effects
In the last week, I have come to the realization that I am still having side effects from FBC (f-bomb breast cancer) treatment. The Silver Lining is that these side effect no longer require days lingering over or near the porcelain potty. Rather these side effects are psychic. The not-so-Silver Lining is that psychic toxicity is still…toxicity.
Lately, I have had some gnarly exposure to some pernicious people and circumstances. Sad, but true. I need not go into detail because I know that (unfortunately) you can only imagine. Suffice it to say, these are the people (and resulting circumstances) who are always a victim and never at fault, consistently negative, maintain no boundaries, and have a tragedy/drama everyday. See what I mean? You know the people.
The great revelation is that just as I was “allergic” to the toxicity of chemo, I am having similar reactions to deleterious behavior in people. So, what to do? First of all, recognize it. Identify the source of negativity. Then, do something about it!
I recognize that this is easier said than done. Prior to FBC, I tolerated a whole lot of S**T. All too often, I thought, “Well, he is just insecure…” or “She is having a bad day…” The truth of the matter is that I knew better and just buried my feelings.
Now, however, there is no burying of these feelings. I respond to poisonous circumstances viscerally, most often by getting a big fat headache and chemo-esque nausea.
I now see this inability to bury my emotions as a Silver Lining. Certainly there are difficult circumstances in life with which we all must contend. Duh. That’s just part of life. What I now know for sure is that I have lost all capacity to tolerate pestilential people or situations.
Here is how I am handling my current situation:
- Set boundaries. Simply say, “No” to the text that says “Call Me” (without a please, by the way).
- Spend less time with them. The less time you spend with them, the less control they have on you. It’s just how this movie rolls.
- Detach emotionally. Do not engage. Their drama is not your drama. Don’t take it on.
- Don’t try to fix them. This is a lost cause that will just leave you exhausted from going in circles. They will find a way to be the victim again and manipulate their way back into control of the relationship.
- Don’t cut them off all of a sudden because it will only exacerbate the situation and that just wouldn’t be pretty.
Do you have any toxic people in your life? I sure hope not, but if you do, how do you handle them?