This was a SL (silver lining) weekend:  The Husband and I walked Buzz on legitimate walks, saw some friends, took 4 3/4 to the children’s Holiday Tea at the Four Seasons Biltmore, and get this, I even went to a holiday party (for 55 minutes).

Speaking of parties, I’m now acutely attuned to the social habits of entering and leaving gatherings.  For example, when we see people whom we haven’t seen in a long time, there is a lot of hugging and kissing involved.

Traditional hugging is, unfortunately, not an option for me right now. Major danger zone. With my FBC, I have become very proficient at the tush-out/lean-in hug (with my arms up across mylady lumps, just in case I’m dealing with a monster hugger).

By the way, in my non-FBC life, I happen to be a monster hugger myself. I love nothing more than an all-in, super-squeeze hug!

4 3/4 came up with the SL concept of “monster LEG hugs.”  Like me, she is a hugger. Leg hugs have become my favorite form of hugging. Those feel GREAT!

Back to the party story. Entering the party (and saying hello to new guests as they arrived) was not a problem.  I was a pro. Kiss-Kiss.  Tush-out/lean-ing hug. Done and Done.

Leaving, however, was another story.

On my way out, I was saying good-bye and a lovely woman whom I hadn’t seen in ages (and who also, by the way,  didn’t know about my FBC) out of nowhere, put her arm around me and squeezed the bejesus out of me. I mean H A R D.

Here is the visual:

Monster Hugger on Right.   Me on Left. SQUEEZE!

F-BOMB! F-BOMB! F-BOMB!  Alert! Alert! Alert! I thought the lady lumps were literally going to come unstitched and fly across the room.  As quickly as I could, I unraveled myself from her and tried not to burst into tears because it hurt so F-Bomb much.

I didn’t want to offend the poor squeezer.  After all, she didn’t know!  …and by the way, she is a super-sweet person who would have been beyond mortified to know what had really happened in that 10 second period of time.

Needless to say, I had to evacuate IMMEDIATELY.  My girlfriend who was so thoughtfully driving me home saw the distress in my eyes and came to my immediate rescue.  No more long goodbyes.  I had to leave immediately.

I had so much pain that I was dizzy, SOB (short of breath) and wanted to throw up.  My girlfriend steadied me while we walked  to the car.  On the way out, two other guests were walking in.  They had to think that I was a complete lush because after only 55 minutes, I had to be escorted (with full support) out of the party.  Vey is mere. Fortunately I didn’t know them.  Or maybe I did and just couldn’t focus.  At least it was dark!

So, let’s find some SL’s here:

  1. I was out (after dark) at a fabulous, super fun party.
  2. I saw lots of friends whom I hadn’t seen in ages.
  3. Irreparable damage was not done from the monster squeeze (I think, but am going to the surgeon today to be sure).
  4. Most importantly: when I am free and clear of FBC, I am going to become a super duper extraordinarily sensitive hugger.  I will ask people if I can hug them tightly.  I will be respectful, e.g., if people would prefer a handshake, kiss or elbow bump then that’s how I’ll roll.

Hope you all have an hug-filled (whatever type works for you!), beautiful day!

PS – THANK YOU ALL for your comments.  I read and appreciate them all!

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  1. ginny simon says

    Can't wait til the next time we see you. It will be a tush out head in super careful hug. Just want to see your beautiful smile. We miss you.

  2. Pam Malloy says

    Hollye, have been out of the loop since the week-end. So happy to read about BUZZ. He's adorable!!!
    Hope you are enjoying this beautiful sunshine day.
    Hope all went well at the doc's office today and that everything is still stiched intact.

  3. Mindy says

    Hollye, Congrats on going to a party! I was shocked to hear that your Manolos were already strapped on and clicking down your cobblestones! I would have been in hibernation for at least a year after undergoing the type of procedure you endured. Not you. Nothing in life stops you.

    I have been following your blog and needed to respond to this post. My initial reaction when I heard that you were sick was to be like one of your pre-FBC hugs — all encompassing, full of life and something that lingers forever (at least that was how I felt about your hugs. I can still feel the first one you gave me in JJ's office in Chicago), but then I took a step back, realized that my reaction wouldn't have been appropriate and watched from afar not knowing what type of reaction was "okay".

    Thinking of the careful loving balance that you recently discovered and will put into your post-FBC hugs gave me a different perspective on how to process and interact with others.

    This post was a double SL for me: we are connected again and I now know that a post-FBC hug type of response will always be okay.

    Love you and can't wait to give and receive a post-FBC hug.