I wrote this poem several months ago before finding The Silver Pen. This poem will tell you everything you need to know about my breast cancer silver lining.
Before and After
Before the cancer, life never stopped.
It whirled by in speeds so fast, I could not keep up.
Pressure to keep up exacted itself on me daily.
Keeping up with the race of time.
Never feeling I could keep up with time.
It stretched my energy.
It tested my patience.
Inside felt like a mass of long thin metal pieces.
Tense and being stretched to their limit.
Just on the verge of breaking all of the time.
I struggled to keep up with the manic pace of every day.
Never feeling like I was good enough, did enough, put in enough.
Always ending the day I with a feeling of defeat.
Always with regret for not having spent enough time.
With my children.
Doing things I love.
The snapping metal made me small inside.
Took away my patience.
Took away my sense of peace.
Took away my acceptance.
Took away my enjoyment of life.
After the cancer, life changed.
Peace somehow just came, enveloped me.
And time slowed down.
It’s no longer whirling around me.
A weight lifted.
More time just to live.
Inside, peace. Peace just to be where I am.
Long, slow, forgiving patience.
Which brings more peace.
More smiles. More laughter. Mirrored in the faces of my children.
Defeat has lessened. Gratitude has grown.