The inspiration for the The Silver Pen (formerly known as BrooksideBuzz.com) is to document my physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and oftentimes hilarious journey through, with, over and around breast cancer. To clarify: breast cancer isn’t funny. Not at all. However, my journey? Frequently guffaw inducing. Another clarification: I prefer to call breast cancer FBC. The “F” stands prominently for the F-Bomb. I’ve dropped quite a few F-Bombs since the diagnosis so, without being overtly crude, just know that when you see an “F” in my writing, you can safely assume what it stands for. I believe that breast cancer happens within the ecosystem of family, friends and community. Consequently, I decided to take the holistic approach and write about breast cancer with style, a sense of humor and Silver Linings. It is important to me that you hear about this journey from my husband (from this point forward, he will …
Diagnosis: DONE. Next steps: Information gathering and making a PLAN. The Husband and I are planners. Good planners. After a weekend of diagnosis digestion, we set up a series of meetings with doctors in Santa Barbara: oncology, plastic surgery, radiation oncology and “my” surgeon. Pages and pages of notes, full of various opinions and strategies. I was seriously impressed with all of the physicians we met. They were all punctual, professional and articulate: a real Silver Lining. During the information gathering week, I had a PET-PEM scan (a scanning system that provides functional imaging specifically for breast cancer detection [1. http://www.archrad.com] ) to try to figure out what is going on with the lesions in the left breast and an enlarged lymph node. Did I forget to mention that lymph node? Sorry. It jumped out on the MRI, showing activity, and definitely warrants further investigation. The PET-PEM was inconclusive, meaning that …
We have four wonderful children in our family, three of whom happen to be incredible adult men. We have spoken honestly and candidly with the boys (ok, we still call them “the boys”) since the time of diagnosis. Now that we have gathered our information, including diagnosis and surgical plan, it is time to tell our daughter, who is 4 3/4 that Mommy has FBC (though we will leave out the F- bomb in our discussion). As much as I wish this experience were only happening to me and that I could shield my husband and children from the pain, the reality is that cancer happens within the ecosystem of family, friends and community. Children are incredibly intuitive and smart. We adults do not give them enough credit. From the time of a diagnosis, children are keenly aware that something major has happened and try immediately (either on their …
The period of time when you are waiting for a diagnosis is brutal. Everything about it. Waiting for my diagnosis of FBC (f-bomb breast cancer for new readers) was simultaneously was heart wrenching, nerve wracking, confusing and downright scary. Here’s how it goes: You have unusual symptoms. You wait. You decide to call your doctor for an appointment. You wait for the appointment. You see the doctor who schedules tests. You wait to take the tests. You wait for the test results. The tests are inconclusive and more tests are required, but before scheduling and taking the tests, insurance approval is required. You wait for approval. You wait for the office to schedule the test. You take the test. You wait for the test results. You are referred to a specialist but she can’t see you for a month You wait again (& again & again) Get it? I wish …
People ask me all the time how I found Silver Linings during the long ride down the twisting and pot-hole-filled breast cancer road. It was simultaneously the most natural thing that I could have done and also a conscious choice and effort on a daily basis. Prior to my diagnosis, I had always been a ½ full kind of girl. When I heard the words, “You have F-bomb breast cancer,” (I doubt that my surgeon used the word f-bomb, but I sure heard it!) my first thought was: this could have been so much worse. It was at this moment, literally from the time of my diagnosis that I became conscious of the need for optimism and began looking for (and finding!) Silver Linings. Here’s what I know for sure about Silver Linings: Silver Linings come in little and big packages. From watching a hummingbird outside of my bedroom window …
The tumor marker test sends an icy chill down my spine. Why? Well, just look at the name. It is as advertised. My girlfriend who is going through FC (f’ing cancer) treatments right now just had a tumor marker test and after, she called asking what it is. Why aren’t these tests explained more clearly? I remember having my blood drawn one day this fall during an horrendous stomach flu and I asked the phlebotomist what the “black” tube is. She simply said, “Tumor Marker Test” with a, “Pleaaaaaase don’t ask me any questions“ look on her face. After my conversation with my girlfriend, it occurred to me that I hadn’t written about tumor markers. Whoopsie! So, I thought that it’s time to do a little A-B-C on tumor markers with high hopes that it helps you (or a loved one) understand WTF is going on (Silver Lining)!!! Tumor markers are …
Hearing a diagnosis of FBC (f-bomb breast cancer) is an earth shattering and mind blowing experience all wrapped up in a box of disbelief. Less than 5% of what is heard at a diagnosis meeting is retained. It’s all so confusing and overwhelming. Even as a nurse, I shut down, emotionally and cognitively when I heard the words: “You have breast cancer.” After my diagnosis, the number one question that I was asked was “What Stage are you?” It just occurred to me that it might be helpful to share with you the nuts and bolts of FBC staging (I never did promise that I quick on the uptake!). Breast cancer staging is the process to determine location, size and type of cancer. It is also identifies whether the cancer has spread within the breast or to other parts of the body. Staging is used to determine treatment and prognosis (a …
In the world of f-bomb cancer and other illnesses, a “Caregiver” is someone who is responsible for attending to the physical, emotional, or financial needs of another person. There are formal and informal caregivers. Formal caregivers are trained professionals paid for their services. Hiring professional caregivers is expensive. Really expensive as a matter of fact. Unfortunately hiring formal, professional caregivers is often cost prohibitive for the people who need it most. This often leaves family and/or friends to become “informal” caregivers who provide care without pay. Caregivers are all around us. In fact, one in three households in America report that at least one person has served as an unpaid caregiver. That equates to nearly 65 million people in the U.S. who are caregivers for an ill, aged or disabled family member or friend during a given year. Isn’t that a staggering number? As a nurse-turned-patient, I can say with …
As you all know by now, I am a firm believer in and advocate for talking with children about a cancer diagnosis. A cancer diagnosis is always an f-bomb. There’s no other way to say it; however including children in the process – from the time of a diagnosis – is the most important thing that we adults can do for them. Not only that but, children deserve open lines of truthful communication. Truthfulness is the best (and only!) way to establish and maintain a bond of trust, with everyone, but especially with children. Discussing illness honestly and openly will teach children that parents are trustworthy and that honesty is a core family value. As much as I wish that my experience only happened to me and that I could have shielded my husband and children from the pain, the reality is that cancer happens within the ecosystem of family, …
Although rare (1 in 100 diagnoses), men can indeed get FBC (f-bomb breast cancer for new readers). Though it’s rare, I’ve known quite a few men with FBC. And you know what? It seems like in some ways, it’s a little extra sucky for them because it’s considered to be a disease that affects women. Several of them have said, “PLEASE do a post for us!” So, this is for you. Breast cancer is less common in men in part because female hormones (e.g., estrogen) are known to fuel the growth of FBC cells. Around the age of 13 or 14, girls begin to produce estrogen, which is responsible for the development of the “functioning” (i.e., milk producing) aspects of the breasts. At the same time, boys begin developing testosterone, the hormone that suppresses breast growth. But the f-bomb of it is that just like every cell in the body, …
